The Self-Driven Child

Overview

Author: William Stixrud Ned Johnson • 📚 Books

Three-Sentence Summary

"The Self-Driven Child" is a guide for parents and educators on how to help children develop a sense of control over their lives and cultivate their own motivation and drive. It emphasizes the importance of intrinsic motivation in allowing kids to reach their full potential and outlines strategies for fostering autonomy, resilience, and self-motivation. The authors argue that too much parental control and over-scheduling can hinder a child's ability to develop these important life skills.

Extended Summary

"The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives" is authored by William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist, and Ned Johnson, a motivational coach. They combine their expertise in neuroscience, psychology, and education to present a compelling case for why children need more autonomy in order to succeed in the rapidly changing 21st century.

The book begins with an exploration of the concept of control as it pertains to child development. Drawing on recent findings from neuroscience, the authors explain how feeling in control is associated with better mental health outcomes, including lower levels of stress and anxiety.

The authors then delve into the topic of motivation. They argue that intrinsic motivation - the desire to do something because it is personally rewarding - is key to learning, creativity, problem-solving and overall success in life. However, they warn that this type of motivation can be undermined by excessive parental control or pressure.

In order to cultivate self-driven children who are motivated from within rather than by external rewards or threats of punishment, Stixrud and Johnson suggest several strategies parents can adopt. These include giving kids more choice whenever possible; respecting their opinions; helping them set their own goals; encouraging healthy sleep habits; not over-scheduling them; teaching them mindfulness techniques; and providing them with unconditional support.

The authors assert that by fostering a sense of control and intrinsic motivation, parents can help their children become more resilient, confident, and capable of meeting the challenges of adulthood.

Key Points

Children who feel in control of their lives show better mental health outcomes and are less likely to suffer from stress and anxiety.
Intrinsic motivation is essential for learning, creativity, problem-solving and life success, but it can be undermined by too much parental control or pressure.
Parents can foster their children's autonomy and intrinsic motivation by giving them more choice, respecting their opinions, helping them set their own goals, ensuring they get enough sleep, not over-scheduling them, teaching them mindfulness techniques and providing unconditional support.

Who Should Read

This book is ideal for parents and educators who want to understand how to better foster independence, resilience, and intrinsic motivation in children. It would also be valuable for psychologists, therapists or anyone else working with children or teenagers.

About the Author

William Stixrud is a clinical neuropsychologist who has been practicing for over 30 years. He specializes in the evaluation of children, adolescents, and adults with learning, attentional, social-emotional or medical issues.

Ned Johnson is a motivational coach who has worked with students for 25 years. He has spoken on child development topics at schools across the country.